…except if you’re going to an outdoors shopping mall called Quartier Dix-30.
I have a weird obsession with culture. Ethnicity, music, fashion… there are cultures which revolve around those specific topics. I’m so fascinated by them. I want to be part of them all. I want to have a piece. The asians and the african americans are who interest me the most; the hip hop, the scene, the skating and the surfing are what I wish I could be part of; the glamour and the money of haute couture are what I wish I could own. This isn’t being explained well. I don’t know how to put it into words. I’m not searching for myself because I very well know who I am, but the person that I am is too vast to be described. I’m spread out all over the place, which is cool but confusing and a little bit demanding at times. I wouldn’t have it any other way. All I know is that every minute of every day, my heart expands and starts enjoying something new, every year I find myself being someone different than I was the previous. Some things are for sure, some things won’t change. Or I think they won’t change, at least. I don’t want them to change, I want them to happen. I want to bring into this world kids who are different, both physically and intellectually, emotionally. My kids will be cultured, they’ll be fun and funny and loving. Sure, they might have identity crises, I’ve had them, we’ve all had them. I want them to be able to look at mom and dad, and see two different people who are headstrong, intelligent, talented and all around smart. Two people who are from different backgrounds both ethnically and in life. I want my kids to have the examples of two different worlds uniting together, making new life and creating a hybrid world of their own. I like this. It may sound pushed or far-fetched, but it isn’t. People do it all the time. Interracial kids are so fascinating, you can’t deny that. It’s even more fascinating that most times, both parents got their own story to tell, they’ve each come their own way, and it’s refreshing, it’s different, it’s cool. I’m not idolizing anyone or looking up to anybody. I am different, my husband will be different, our kids will be different. That’s just how it goes for me. My blood has never and will never be a sheep’s blood; my blood runs from unique beings, two people who are unlike anyone else I know, and they’ve done magic by making my brother and I just as unique in our own way as they are in theirs. I wanna keep making that unique blood flow, I plan on it happening, I plan on it creating good little people who will grow into amazing human people, heartfelt people, people who care and persevere and love and laugh and cherish and give and strive for more all the time. Beautiful people. I know they’ll be beautiful, I can see it already.
I’m excited for this day to come. I’m excited every day that I wake up, because I don’t know if that will be the day that someone will revolutionize my life, make me think “Wow, this guy… wow.”
I know what I want. I’m just not entirely sure how I will get it, yet.
