They Say Bad Things Happen For A Reason

I can’t deny my excitement for tomorrow any longer. I have no expectations, however. Being in his presence again will be enough to make me happy.

Yay!

Where Oceans Bleed Into The Sky

1. Tattoo
2. Long hair
3. Flawless skin
4. Firm body
5. Soft curves
6. Classic clothes of quality
7. Optimism
8. Sanity
9. Exercise regime
10. Fat-free food
11. Education
12. Creativity
13. Colour
14. Music
15. Film
16. Photography
17. Calm
18. Passion
19. Authenticity
20. Love

Jessica’s world in 20 points.

You. Are. Mine.

Naptime, originally uploaded by Brittany Chavez.

I just really love this photo. And I wish so much that I could be in bed with him like this right now. He is so comfy. Happy sighs.

Fading Like A Rose

I think it’s a bad idea to take sleeping pills.

Consuming Thoughts, Consuming Time

I feel like absolute crap today.

I honestly wish I could be in my bed right now, with a big hoodie and pyjama pants and 92874 blankets and warmth and the blinds pulled down over the windows and silence.  I haven’t slept well in weeks.

Escape to Italy in 8 days.

His Dark Eyes Flickered To Mine

I’m just gonna retreat to my little Twilight bubble now.

I don’t care what anyone says or thinks, because they have no idea how much easier it is to live in that world.

I wish I knew what I was doing wrong, so that this excruciatingly unfair cycle could stop.

Edit: I need to be less negative, at least he responded. He could have just ignored. Wow, I am stooping so, so low. Every year I forget how painful relationships are, even after having suffered so much it’s amazing at how quickly I forget. Idiot.

Breathless And On Again

They finally noticed that I lost weight. People at work, I mean. I guess it’s because I’ve been gone for 3 weeks. They said I look tiny and tan and great. I look great. :)

-25 lbs

Surreal.

Can’t Always Get What You Want? Fuck that shit.

Fucking air conditioning blasting through the vent on top of me when it’s fucking 1°C outside and snowing + raining.

They don’t make any fucking sense. And all I do is say it out loud. And still, nothing gets done.

I’m fucking FROZEN. Working in these miserable fucking conditions. They don’t even have the decency to give us a good work space and work environment. Nah, just get in that corner and shut the fuck up. Freeze to death. Get sick. Who cares? And if the walls are white and the cubicles are grey? Yeah so what you’re an art department? Do as I say and don’t you dare complain about anything because I won’t listen anyway and nothing will ever change.

Wow, there is so much wrong with this world. Fuck this place, seriously.

I’m the angriest I’ve ever been today.

It’s Nothing, Nothing, Nothing At All

Collarbone jutting out on both sides.
Biceps and triceps significantly less flabby.
Muffin-top almost completely vanished.
Double chin only apparent during smiles.
And the best part -  space between my thighs.

This is going in a good direction.

My Body Is A Cage

Today is pretty cool. Today, I am wearing a long, black cardigan that was too small for me since the day I purchased it. I was never able to button it. Until today. Today I can button it from top to bottom without having it stretch awkwardly at the buttons and seams. I’m wearing it with two layered camis and a skinny braided black pleather belt at the waist. And though I still do not look thin, I look much, much better.

I’m very excited for the day when I will be fully happy with myself. It’s hard work but it’s also a fun experiment.

Unfortunately, I’m only becoming more and more of a control freak.