“She will and she can find a man who knows her worth.”
I can’t concentrate on anything right now. I feel sick. J’ai mal au coeur. Pourquoi ils ne veulent pas de moi? They don’t want to hold me, hug me, kiss me, nothing… why do you play that game with me? It’s hard tonight.
“It can all fall down around me, just as long as I have you right here by me.”
J’ai hâte de pouvoir entendre ces mots.
This morning, when I arrived to work, a very cute & sweet French lady with a French accent wished me a good day while getting off the elevator. I don’t even know who she is. Europe 1, Canada 0. On est vraiment des sauvages, ici. I wished her a good day as well, with a smile of course. Jessica 1, Canada -1.
Last night, during supper, my dad shared with me (for the 3rd time in the past year) his intuition that GP would make the perfect boyfriend/husband for me. He also tried to convince me that I should join some sort of Italian singles association so that I can meet a nice Italian boy. I told him not to worry, that I’m not desperate, and that I’m not attracted to French/Anglo Canadians anyway. I’ve never even been with one. “No no, I know, but still, Jess, you have to mingle with Italians or else you’ll never meet any. It’s not at La Mamba that you’re going to meet good Italians!” By La Mamba, he means Moomba. And I reassured him that yes, I know, it’s not in a club that I will meet my future boyfriend/husband. He said he wants to talk to GP’s father (incidentally, my dad’s best friend since childhood) and tell him that if his son is interested in me, he should make a move. All I could do is cover my face with my hands and scream “Daaaaaaaaaad!” — I’m not excited for future embarassment. I feel like I’m in a modern day version of The Godfather. 
Je crois que je suis en train de perdre mon Français. C’est affreux!
Aujourd’hui, c’est la fête de l’amour. Bientôt, ça va faire 2 ans que je ne suis plus en amour. Que je suis célibataire. Je ne sais pas comment me sentir. Est-ce que c’est bon? Qu’est-ce que ça dit de ma personalité? “Elle a seulement eu un copain dans sa vie, et elle est restée seule depuis.” Je me demande s’il y a des gens qui pensent à ça.
Ce soir je vais mettre une veste rouge, et je vais manger un bon repas, avec du vin, et je vais célébrer la Saint-Valentin même si je suis célibataire, mais je ne serai pas seule; je vais être avec ceux qui m’aiment le plus au monde: ma famille!
